First time going to therapy?

Increasing numbers of us are having therapy, and it feels like the taboo of talking about mental health is finally lifting. So, now that you have made the decision to have counselling or therapy, what can you expect?

You will agree a set day and time with your therapist, having regular (usually weekly) sessions that each last for 50 minutes. Most initially therapy sessions are a sort of ‘assessment’ where the therapist will try and understand what has been troubling you, and what brings you to therapy. There may be a form to fill in with details such as any medication you are taking, the contact details for your GP, and your next of kin. Or, some therapists take a more informal approach and simply ask you to start explaining what bought you along.

In this first session, it’s important for both you and your therapist to gauge whether you could have a good working relationship together, and determine if you want to continue. Finding a therapist you feel comfortable with is important, and if you don’t quite feel the fit is right, it is fine to continue on your search and find another therapist.

Your therapist will also do some practical ‘house keeping’ in this first session - telling you what the cancellation policy is (usually the fee will still be incurred if notice isn’t given 48 hours prior to the session), and explaining the best way to contact them if you are going to be late, and so on.

Another important conversation will be about confidentiality. The therapist will explain how they will protect your confidentiality and privacy, explaining any circumstance when they may need to disclose information about you.

It will be important to be very clear about what you want out of therapy, and what your expectations are. Think about what brings you there and what you want to change. But just as importantly, be realistic! The hard work of therapy continues outside of the therapy room, and it will be important for you to understand yourself what you think you would be willing to change and how.

It is natural to want to be liked, and therapy is no different. As you get further into your therapy sessions, you may feel that you want to be liked by your therapist. But remember, therapists are trained to be impartial, and non-judgemental, so it’s important to be open and honest – even about things that make you feel uncomfortable. To really get the most out of therapy, it’s better not to worry about being liked, and not hold back. Your therapist should make you feel comfortable at all times.

Don’t forget that a therapist should not be advising you. Therapy isn’t the same as life coaching, it aims to get at what is hidden, unspoken, or sometimes unrealised. A good therapist will help you come to realisations about what is best for you, and what will work. You are the expert of you, and the therapist is there to guide and sign post, utilising the tools and theories they have been trained in.

And finally, homework. It may be that your therapist gives you some tasks to do in the week between sessions. No matter how small or insignificant it may seem, there will be a reason for it. Talk to your therapist about what they would like you to do and why, and if you don’t feel comfortable or able to do it, then be clear and explain why you feel like that. Homework tasks outside of the therapy room can be a really important way to help bring about change, highlight things that are not working, or help to create new routines, rituals, and habits.